FAQ
by Purple Dalek
Summary: A distress signal has been sent to the enterprise. Nobody can find where it has come from. Could it have something to do with strange talk of an old 'friend' reappearing in the Pedrantun star system?Story also known as, 'Mon Capitaine'
1. captains Log

**STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENARATION:**

**F A Q**

_Captain's log: Star Date 769.38: The Enterprise has received a distress signal from the Pedrantun star system near the centre of the eastern spiral arm of our galaxy. We are still uncertain of the whereabouts of the ship or planet it came from. We are investigating._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Captain Jean-luc Picard was having a bad day. 1: A distress signal from nowhere. Just, 'the Pedrantun star system'. This 'Pedrantun' star system didn't seem to exist on his readings. Rumours said in was somewhere near the middle of the eastern spiral arm. 2: Commander Data had gone missing. Just didn't turn up for work that morning. He wasn't in his quarters and the computer confirmed that he wasn't on the ship. 3: Q! The rumours were spreading like mad! Q here, continuum overthrowing universe there. It was more than Picard could bear! **CRASH! **

"Damn it, we've hit some spatial disturbance! Data, put us in full reverse warp! Damn, it's pulling us in!"

"Captain, Data has gone missing, remember?"

"Who said that?"

"None of us, Captain."

"It was me, Jean-luc, remember me? Your old friend from the continuum?"

"Q," said Picard, "what have you done with Data!"

"Oh, don't you worry Picard, I have an IQ of 2,000,005. I think I can look after him."

"Q, I demand an answer!"

"OK, if you must know, he's been drowned in the great swamp of Derag-lantordi- 6, and then I threw him in the fires of Roarcor, and now he's happily having his circuits torn out by the fierce spatial disturbances of the Pedrantun star system."

"Q, you bandit!"

"Oh, come on, Picard have a sense of humour, in fact, commander Data is right here!" He clicked his fingers and Data appeared in a white flash.

"I think my left ear melted slightly on Roarcor," said Data.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Q, what do want with us this time!"

"Oh, I was just calling in to visit young Data," answered Q.

"What do you want with Data!" shouted Warf.

"Oh, butting in on the Captain are you, how very rude, you should suspend the ugly Clingon for that remark," said Q.

"You shut up Q, you have no authority here," said Picard.

"Oh, what a nasty way to treat your old friend, well as they always say what goes around comes around."

He clicked his fingers and all the lights went off. Five minutes later the lights turned on. Picard looked outside the window and realised that they had landed on a grey planet.

"Warf, what planet are we on?"

"According to this, we haven't moved at all."

"That's impossible."

"I'm afraid Captain, he's right, we are still in the same co-ordinates as we were before the lights went off," said Data.

"That's right Jean-luc; you're in exactly the same place. Oh but your not! I've brought you to a parallel universe! Welcome, to… the Q continuum!"


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Picard, I bet your thinking, 'Oh dear! How awful Q is!' Oh but Jean-luc, you don't now how pampered you are being! It is an honour to be invited to the continuum by a Q! Especially if you are a human."

"It's hardly an Invitation Q! It's so easy for you! You just click your fingers and my ship has been moved to the continuum, or whatever else you desire happens! Q, I demand you to leave my ship immediately and take us back to our universe!"

"Nobody except the Q, order the Q! Q, what is your reason for inviting these humans, the Clingon, and the Android?" said the voice of another Q.

"Ah! Q! I have brought them because, they have debt with us to settle," said Q.

"WHAT! I am outraged! We never had a deal with the Q! I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about!" insisted the Captain.

"Shut up Jean-luc Picard! Nobody asked you to say anything!" said the other Q.

"Anyway Picard, I never mentioned you! The debt is with your cleverish assistant, Data! Now I have already explained all the terms and conditions to your computerised friend, so we'll just be off now!" said Q.

"Oh no you don't!"

"Oh yes I do!"

Q clicked hi fingers, and the captain stopped. Frozen, in mid air.


End file.
